Humor: Military Linguistics

1 July 2003

In the US military, confusion sometimes reigns because members of the four armed services do not always understand one another. Not only do the four services have their own uniforms, equipment, and traditions, they also have their own jargon. This is illustrated by fairly old joke about military jargon.

Take a simple command such as secure the building. One would think that this command would be rather unambiguous, but this is not necessarily so. Each of the four services interprets this command in its own, unique way.

If one tells an Army soldier to secure a building, he will occupy and prepare to defend it.

A Marine, on the other hand, when told to secure a building will attack and destroy it.

Tell a Navy man to secure the building and the sailor will turn out the lights and lock the door.

Finally, if you tell an Air Force airman to secure the building, he will take out a five-year lease with an option to buy.